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Chang Mai

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I am currently in Chiang Mai. My days consist of riding a chang (elephants) and my nights consist of drinking Chang (beer). Life could be a lot worse.

First night in Chiang Mai, we stay in a mixed dorm at SpicyThai, and we sleep from we arrive till the next day, only getting up to get a 30 baht meal at a shady-looking restaurant for dinner. The day after, I am desperate to find a Post Office to send stuff (clothes) home, so we take a trip to the mall, where they were are out of packages, so then we go to the old city, where we meet Sophie and American guy (I want to call him Josh), and manage to find a Post Office and do some sightseeing, sorta.

IMG_1025Yep, that’s definitely sightseeing

The guys in our dorm, Johnny, Geoff and Joel join us for dinner and a trip to the Anusarn night market, followed by a cabaret show.

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The show is amazing, although there isn’t enough Britney. The best ladyboy I’ve ever seen does an amazing show, dancing with the audience, and shoving her chest in my face and rubs it all over my face, till I am full of glitter. Yes, I motorboated a ladyboy. I am so proud.

On the 3rd day, we go to Baan Chang Elephant Park. Earlier this month, I found out that elephant riding is considered animal cruelty. While the elephant is strong and can carry around 200 kg, its spine is too fragile for riding – especially with a saddlechair attached to the back. We did some research to find a place that would allow riding bareback or on the neck instead, as it is a lot better for the elephant. The cheapest option seemed to be Baan Chang. They rescue elephants, which is a plus, but let people ride on their necks, which of course still is “cruel” in some peoples eyes, but at least it seems like the best way to do it. We arrive and get dressed in super trendy denim uniforms, and then get to feed the elephants sugar canes and bananas.

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Then we do Mahout training. We learn the commands, which are in Thai, and then practice getting up on the elephant, and then controlling it for a quick ride. Then we pair up and start riding.

Our elephant is Ying Lee, a female elephant. She follows the other elephants, so I don’t have to control her much (I am on the neck, so I get to steer her), but she likes to stop and snack a lot. Elephants can eat 10 % of their weight, so they spend most of the day eating like 200 kg. As there is nothing to hold on to, riding her is really scary, and I feel like I am about to fall off several times. It doesn’t help that I am feeling nauseous, dizzy, have a bad headache, and that my sight is blurry. I feel miserable, and barely enjoy riding an elephant – something I know I would love any time but then.

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Finally, we get to bathe them. We are sore from riding, and I have back pains and the shakes from being so nervous of falling down, so getting off Ying Lee and into the water is amazing. I absolutely love washing her nose, and it seems like she is enjoying it just as much.

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That makes another thing on my 22 list crossed off!

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# 3: Ride an elephant

I definitely feel worse about elephants being in zoos and these parks now that I’ve fallen completely in love with them, but even when we capture elephants to make them feel better, as in give them medical treatment, we need to put a chain around their foot. At least that’s what I told myself when I saw the elephants around me like that. It’s not optimal, but no one can help them if they run away or go crazy and attack others.

When we get home, we have to switch hostel, as we hated our hostel the first night and quickly booked something else, but ended up liking Spicy Thai anyways. At this point, I am feeling worse than ever, and behind my sunglasses, I am crying. Of course Sara takes her sweet time packing her bag, putting on shoes, and walking towards the road to get a taxi. Of course the taxi does a detour as well. Of course our new hostel is a looong walk through an alley, then after a lenghty check-in, it turns out we are in a dorm that’s at the end of another street. I am on the verge of breaking down. Of course the AC doesn’t work in the room. Of course our three room mates show up 20 seconds after we’ve thrown ourselves in bed, and of course they want to get to know us and get the AC to work. Finally, as Sara yet again talks about yatches, I do what I now do everytime she does that: put in my earphones, and then I fall asleep.

I am woken up by a hungry Sara. I feel better, but still have a horrible headache, and we go for mediocre food and a great ice cream at Blue Diamond. We go back to the room, get into an awesome conversation with our roommates about serial killers, and suddenly I pass out again.

The next day we get a room at the main building of the hostel, Kikie’s House. We go with our roommate Kaleigh, and get a nice dorm together. After that, we all decide to go to the zoo. Bad idea.

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I will spare you all my animal photos. Actually, no I wont.

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First, most animals are locked in cages that are too small, or they are living with other species. Giraffes, zebras and emus share a space, which is random. You can feed the animals if you pay up. Seems like the animals will be either over- or underfed, depending on how many visitors will be there that day. Most of the animals aren’t even there. The main attraction is the panda cage, which we have to pay an additional fee to get into – which no one tells you, until you reach the cage. We pay the fee anyway, and there are two pandas in there. Two. We are furious, and storm out of the zoo not too long after that.

At 4, Sara and I are picked up and driven to a market. We have an evening cooking class at Siam Rice, recommended by Kirstin, and first we get a lecture on the ingredients at the market with a Canadian couple, who is also attending the class. After the lecture, we are driven to the school.

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We make 5 dishes each and get a free dessert. I make coconut chicken soup, pad thai, chicken cashew nut, curry paste and yellow curry, and then for dessert, mango sticky rice. Yum.

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After dinner, we get a certificate and a recipe book! It was a great experience, and I would do it again! Another thing on my list crossed off.

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# 19: Take a class

Since it is Sunday, there is a special night market on the walking street, and it is amazing. We go with Kaleigh, and I buy so much amazing shit: a watch, a passport holder, backpack, T-shirt, two skirts, a keychain and lots of food. Yes, I got hungry again.

IMG_210120140505-223225.jpgCollages are time savers and awesome. Must do this more often. Also, Kaleigh’s pulling tissues out of a butt, ha ha.

We then go for drinks at Zoe, where we meet Sophie from SpicyThai, and have a great time until we get sleepy and go home.

The day after, we go to Tiger Kingdom. They claim they don’t drug the tigers, but they are kept in cages according to size: newborn, small, medium and big. We choose a package deal with the small and big tigers, and we start with the smaller ones. Now I am disappointed, as I thought small meant, you know, small. Those “small” tigers are freaking huge! We go in and take pictures for 10 minutes, then move on the big ones. They are about 20 months old and massive! Some of them definitely don’t like having us in there, and I get hit by a tail a few times, which would make anyone a bit jumpy.

IMG_1340 IMG_1355 IMG_1358This is a “small” tiger. Luckily, Kaleigh got a picture of me being scared.IMG_1425 IMG_1440Big tiger!

I am extremely high and exhausted afterwards. We just petted big-ass tigers! Yes kids, another thing crossed off my list here in Chiang Mai. I am on a roll.

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#13: Pet a wild animal

We take a nap and then go to the night market a few hours later, before the rain forces us home. I’m addicted to this night market, you guys.

The next morning, our beds start to shake violently. I am thinking that it’s just the guy on the top bunk being a dick. There is an earthquake!. Yep, I survived an earthquake! I We then have to leave for Pai, which is the worst drive ever.

Pissed in Phangan

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It’s raining when we get off the ferry. How convenient, since there’s a big water fight today. It’s Songkran, or the Thai New Year, and it is celebrated by getting everyone soaked. Luckily, we booked the last seats on an overpriced ferry just to be there so early, that no one will be up waiting with a watergun until we’re safe indoors.

At 9.30 we’re in our hostel, Om Ganesh. To our surprise, everyone from Patong Backpacker Hostel is there! Dom, Alex, James, Binula, the sisters, so on. We all put on our swimsuits and coverups, and around noon, it starts.

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This is better than Holi. In fact, it’s the most fun I’ve had in ages. The streets are filled with people, pretty much stopping traffic. The little kids dump buckets of ice water on you. Backpackers gather in big hordes with colorful squirt guns and aggressively attack anyone who passes by. People on the back of the open taxis have no choice but to take what’s coming at them, while the car is slowly driving through the streets. We try not to attack people with backpacks or cameras, though. Everyone else is going to get soaked.

We have a quick lunch while it starts to rain again. I have mango sticky rice, Sara her sweet and sour chicken, which is the only thing she eats these days, and James is just tagging along. We pick up where we left off, and this time, we are drinking buckets.

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With Dom, Binula and James

As the sun sets, we dry off and start the party. There is a Jungle Party, but we decide the entrance fee is too expensive, so we end up dancing on the beach for what seems like ages. As everyone else goes to bed, James, Bobby from the hostel and I head to a pool party, that is completely empty, but James throw me in the pool – with clothes on! – and we just hang in there for a while. Tired, we go back to eat before crashing. We are home at what feels like 5, but is actually 1 or 2. Oops.

The next day is the day of the Full Moon Party. Sara and I spend most of the day waiting for food. We order at two restaurants, but the waiter at the first one forgets to give Sara’s order to the kitchen, and doesn’t bother to tell me that he has cancelled mine, because they’re out of pasta. We go to place number two, which has the slowest cooks ever. For dinner, a group of us just end up buying street food. We finally sit outside the hostel with our free bucket (I accidentally drop mine and get a guy’s coupon for a bucket, aw) and free paint. Sara and I are the very first to grab a brush and get to it. We come up with some good designs, the dots I used to do at The Palace, flowers, and handprints on my bum. Hours later, everyone has almost the same design. As I always do what I call the Mandatory butt picture, I ask Sara if she minds doing painted handprints on my butt. Not wanting to get paint on the palms of her hands, she asks to me talk to the girl next to her instead. Her name is Kirstin, and she’s travelling with her friend John, aka. The Virgin. I haven’t really spoken to her at this point, but I casually ask her if she wants to help me out with that. She says yes very enthusiastically, and I immediately know that this is true love.

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IDK, some guy with a massive bucket

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It’s a hot night, and the paint is coming off quickly, as we’re sweating a lot. Around 9 or 10 we do a few touch-ups and then head to the beach. That means Kirstin has to touch my butt multiple times.

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At the very end of the beach, you find Mushroom Bar. Here, our new Canadian friends Kirstin and John share a shroom shake with me. Nothing happens, do a few hours later we share another one. Again, nothing happens. I don’t drink all night, but suddenly I feel drunk. I guess the shrooms are kicking in. Eventually, I lose everyone and I am on the beach by myself, partying. I get home at around 2.30, but I don’t remember much after that.

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Number 20 on my list of 22 things to do: Do a drug – check!20140415-163742.jpg

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Today, I’ve walked around in just the top from last night. I haven’t bothered to brush my teeth or put on underwear. My laziness has resulted in a party with Alex in reception, while everyone else is on the beach. We just listen to Disney songs, The Pokémon adn Thomas Train theme and Ylvis  while going crazy, singing and dancing in the door to the hostel, frigtening other people.

We’re supposed to leave tomorrow. I have a feeling we wont after all.

Drugs

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Who knew travelling was so dangerous? No, I’m not talking about the possibility of getting raped, robbed or lost. I’m talking about getting sick.

Sure, I’m being overly cautious here, maybe. Or am I? Am I even prepared for four months of endless things that could go wrong? But on the other hand, people do this all the time with less preparation, and nothing happens to them. Only time will tell if my body can keep up with South East Asia.

The reason I am currently freaking out, is that with five days left until depature, I had my final run to the Pharmacy today to pick up Malaria pills. 15 goddamn boxes. This is what my medicine bag looked like when I got home:

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Jeez, Christine Louise. I need all 15 packages, but I neither can nor should bring them all like this. I stuffed three packages – with manuals – with all the pills I had, and suddenly I could fit it all in my bag and still read about the proper use and side effects.

Let’s talk a bit more about what to bring for a long trip far away from home. First things first, if living in Greece for months at a time taught me anything, it’s that vitamins are a good idea. No, a great idea. Flying, staying in less than stellar hostels, and not eating healty and balanced enough can all contribute to feeling a bit sick. While Asia is known for its healty food, there’s still no harm in bringing some for the days where you binge on bread and Coke all day (also known as Hangover Day). I also packed some vitamin C, because I’ve seen so many people do that when they didn’t feel too well.

If it does happen that I catch a cold, which is common after traveling on airplanes or sleeping with the air-con on, I have a nasal spray and painkillers ready. It is generally a great idea to bring disinfectant for whatever you’d need it for.

Birth control and condoms. Even if you don’t plan to sleep around, you never know when you meet that hot surfer dude with the accent to die for. Seriously. Better to be safe than sorry. Also, those lucky ladies that are on birth control can skip their period one month, if they are going swimming or meeting the man of their dreams that one week they are supposed to be crying and eating brownies in a fetal position.

Anything to prevent or fight diarrhea, really. It’s impossible to travel when your butt is constantly leaking.

Pills and mosquito spray to prevent malaria. All of this is a must if you are traveling to certain areas, and you need to be very serious about using this at the right hour. Unfortunately, a lot of malaria pills have side effects, like causing yeast infections, so bring something for that.

No matter where you’re travelling and for how long, I cannot stress how important it is to know about the precautions you have to take to prevent your trip from being about that one time you went to Italy and pooped non-stop, or when you were in the hospital in Laos because a dog bit you. I don’t know, just do your research about the area, get the neccesary shots and prescriptions, and know who to call if it all goes wrong.

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