Chang Mai
I am currently in Chiang Mai. My days consist of riding a chang (elephants) and my nights consist of drinking Chang (beer). Life could be a lot worse.
First night in Chiang Mai, we stay in a mixed dorm at SpicyThai, and we sleep from we arrive till the next day, only getting up to get a 30 baht meal at a shady-looking restaurant for dinner. The day after, I am desperate to find a Post Office to send stuff (clothes) home, so we take a trip to the mall, where they were are out of packages, so then we go to the old city, where we meet Sophie and American guy (I want to call him Josh), and manage to find a Post Office and do some sightseeing, sorta.
Yep, that’s definitely sightseeing
The guys in our dorm, Johnny, Geoff and Joel join us for dinner and a trip to the Anusarn night market, followed by a cabaret show.
The show is amazing, although there isn’t enough Britney. The best ladyboy I’ve ever seen does an amazing show, dancing with the audience, and shoving her chest in my face and rubs it all over my face, till I am full of glitter. Yes, I motorboated a ladyboy. I am so proud.
On the 3rd day, we go to Baan Chang Elephant Park. Earlier this month, I found out that elephant riding is considered animal cruelty. While the elephant is strong and can carry around 200 kg, its spine is too fragile for riding – especially with a saddlechair attached to the back. We did some research to find a place that would allow riding bareback or on the neck instead, as it is a lot better for the elephant. The cheapest option seemed to be Baan Chang. They rescue elephants, which is a plus, but let people ride on their necks, which of course still is “cruel” in some peoples eyes, but at least it seems like the best way to do it. We arrive and get dressed in super trendy denim uniforms, and then get to feed the elephants sugar canes and bananas.
Then we do Mahout training. We learn the commands, which are in Thai, and then practice getting up on the elephant, and then controlling it for a quick ride. Then we pair up and start riding.
Our elephant is Ying Lee, a female elephant. She follows the other elephants, so I don’t have to control her much (I am on the neck, so I get to steer her), but she likes to stop and snack a lot. Elephants can eat 10 % of their weight, so they spend most of the day eating like 200 kg. As there is nothing to hold on to, riding her is really scary, and I feel like I am about to fall off several times. It doesn’t help that I am feeling nauseous, dizzy, have a bad headache, and that my sight is blurry. I feel miserable, and barely enjoy riding an elephant – something I know I would love any time but then.
Finally, we get to bathe them. We are sore from riding, and I have back pains and the shakes from being so nervous of falling down, so getting off Ying Lee and into the water is amazing. I absolutely love washing her nose, and it seems like she is enjoying it just as much.
That makes another thing on my 22 list crossed off!
# 3: Ride an elephant
I definitely feel worse about elephants being in zoos and these parks now that I’ve fallen completely in love with them, but even when we capture elephants to make them feel better, as in give them medical treatment, we need to put a chain around their foot. At least that’s what I told myself when I saw the elephants around me like that. It’s not optimal, but no one can help them if they run away or go crazy and attack others.
When we get home, we have to switch hostel, as we hated our hostel the first night and quickly booked something else, but ended up liking Spicy Thai anyways. At this point, I am feeling worse than ever, and behind my sunglasses, I am crying. Of course Sara takes her sweet time packing her bag, putting on shoes, and walking towards the road to get a taxi. Of course the taxi does a detour as well. Of course our new hostel is a looong walk through an alley, then after a lenghty check-in, it turns out we are in a dorm that’s at the end of another street. I am on the verge of breaking down. Of course the AC doesn’t work in the room. Of course our three room mates show up 20 seconds after we’ve thrown ourselves in bed, and of course they want to get to know us and get the AC to work. Finally, as Sara yet again talks about yatches, I do what I now do everytime she does that: put in my earphones, and then I fall asleep.
I am woken up by a hungry Sara. I feel better, but still have a horrible headache, and we go for mediocre food and a great ice cream at Blue Diamond. We go back to the room, get into an awesome conversation with our roommates about serial killers, and suddenly I pass out again.
The next day we get a room at the main building of the hostel, Kikie’s House. We go with our roommate Kaleigh, and get a nice dorm together. After that, we all decide to go to the zoo. Bad idea.
I will spare you all my animal photos. Actually, no I wont.
First, most animals are locked in cages that are too small, or they are living with other species. Giraffes, zebras and emus share a space, which is random. You can feed the animals if you pay up. Seems like the animals will be either over- or underfed, depending on how many visitors will be there that day. Most of the animals aren’t even there. The main attraction is the panda cage, which we have to pay an additional fee to get into – which no one tells you, until you reach the cage. We pay the fee anyway, and there are two pandas in there. Two. We are furious, and storm out of the zoo not too long after that.
At 4, Sara and I are picked up and driven to a market. We have an evening cooking class at Siam Rice, recommended by Kirstin, and first we get a lecture on the ingredients at the market with a Canadian couple, who is also attending the class. After the lecture, we are driven to the school.
We make 5 dishes each and get a free dessert. I make coconut chicken soup, pad thai, chicken cashew nut, curry paste and yellow curry, and then for dessert, mango sticky rice. Yum.
Making pad thai
After dinner, we get a certificate and a recipe book! It was a great experience, and I would do it again! Another thing on my list crossed off.
# 19: Take a class
Since it is Sunday, there is a special night market on the walking street, and it is amazing. We go with Kaleigh, and I buy so much amazing shit: a watch, a passport holder, backpack, T-shirt, two skirts, a keychain and lots of food. Yes, I got hungry again.
Collages are time savers and awesome. Must do this more often. Also, Kaleigh’s pulling tissues out of a butt, ha ha.
We then go for drinks at Zoe, where we meet Sophie from SpicyThai, and have a great time until we get sleepy and go home.
The day after, we go to Tiger Kingdom. They claim they don’t drug the tigers, but they are kept in cages according to size: newborn, small, medium and big. We choose a package deal with the small and big tigers, and we start with the smaller ones. Now I am disappointed, as I thought small meant, you know, small. Those “small” tigers are freaking huge! We go in and take pictures for 10 minutes, then move on the big ones. They are about 20 months old and massive! Some of them definitely don’t like having us in there, and I get hit by a tail a few times, which would make anyone a bit jumpy.
This is a “small” tiger. Luckily, Kaleigh got a picture of me being scared.
Big tiger!
I am extremely high and exhausted afterwards. We just petted big-ass tigers! Yes kids, another thing crossed off my list here in Chiang Mai. I am on a roll.
#13: Pet a wild animal
We take a nap and then go to the night market a few hours later, before the rain forces us home. I’m addicted to this night market, you guys.
The next morning, our beds start to shake violently. I am thinking that it’s just the guy on the top bunk being a dick. There is an earthquake!. Yep, I survived an earthquake! I We then have to leave for Pai, which is the worst drive ever.