Townsville, Australia: IT’S SO FLUFFY I’M GONNA DIE
After a bit of a drive, we arrive at Coral Coast Tourist Park. It’s quite a bit out of town – as all camping sites are – but the facilities are great. They have the longest, cleanest bathroom I have seen in a looong time. We decide to drive up to the Castle Hill lookout for sunset. Being the only vans driving up the hill, which is a very popular place for runners and hikers, is a bit embarrassing. We find a nice little area to sit and watch the sun go down.
We don’t dwell there too long though, and go back to the camp site for a great dinner of steak, cooked beans in garlic butter, salad and potatoes. Of course, goon is had with this feast. I eat till I’m ready to pass out, but end up staying up fairly late, discussing serious things like religion, gender identity, and fluffy animals. And people think I’m as dumb as I look!
The next day is pretty epic. We go to Billabong Sanctuary, where within minutes, I fulfill my week-long dream of holding a wombat. IT’S SO FLUFFY I’M GONNA DIE!
It’s quite big and heavy, with coarse fur, but I enjoy every second of holding it. In Australia, it seems that all animals, no matter how cute and fluffy they are, can kill you, but zoos will still let you cuddle them for the price of $18. Seems reasonable to me.
After that, Craig holds a koala, we feed kangaroos and turtles, we learn about snakes and crocodiles, see a koala baby, get followed around by ducks and geese wanting our kangaroo food, pet dingoes, hold a baby crocodile and have our necks pecked by a rainbow parrot. How epic does that sound?
On the way home, I promise Craig to play him some epic music, so I put on Bohemian Rhapsody, which we sing along to loudly. We are stuck in city traffic most of the time, so the car in the lane next to us overhears everything. I see the two women in the front seat looking at each other, laughing, but I am unaware of how much they are actually listening, until they start applauding out of the window – while driving. Now that’s epic!
We have lamb steaks with all the works from yesterday for dinner, with more goon. I am getting really sick and tired of just sitting around, drinking goon, especially since I’m usually really into some book that I just want to finish in silence. So off I go, to finish yet another book and fall asleep to the sound of nothing.
The next day, Sharon dyes my hair in the ladies’ bathroom, so for 20 minutes, I run around in my underwear with dark blue goo in my hair and aluminum foil trying to prevent the goo from getting everywhere. After a shower and a quick pack-up, we start driving again, stopping for lunch and a swing in Mission Beach, and Josephine Falls, a pretty waterfall that you’re not even allowed to get close to. That was it for Townsville, next stop: Cairns!
Airlie Beach and Whitsunday, Australia: We spendin’ most our lives tryin’ to get to this Aussie Paradise
Craig and I go ahead and drive to Airlie Beach without Sharon and Nick. We check into YHA for one night, just to have an actual bed and a shower. We have to park the van over at Base hostel, which is a bit of a walk from there, but we don’t mind too much, until Nick and Sharon arrive and we need to walk back so she can get her bag from the car and put it in Nick’s. At the same time, I get a text from the Council in New South Wales about a fine I haven’t paid yet, so now instead of $63 I owe them $173. I panic, but decide to call them and they assure me that it was just a mistake. I’m still shaking though, and am not too happy about running around town just because some guy decided to stay up all night so he couldn’t get here the same time as us.
He decides to stay in for the night, so Sharon meets us at the hostel for some overly sweet goon, while we watch “Ew” skits and listen to Lonely Island songs. We are all pretty tried and decide to go to bed fairly early.
The next day, the sun is scorching hot, even in the early morning. Craig and I check out of YHA and park our car in the camping area of Base. With the guests almost exclusively being backpackers, it has a very hostel-y vibe. Before settling down at a table with some goon, we go to the lagoon and lay out all day to tan.
I am swallowing book after book on this trip, and having a whole day of laying out and reading seems like a luxury to me at this point. For me, it’s an early night, since waking up early and having no naps during the day is messing up my sleeping cycle. I get tired by 8 o’clock! Also, the goon has gotten to me, and I start throwing up violently, just like I would do at home. I guess even my body’s starting to feel right at home here in Australia.
The next day is an exciting one: it’s time for a day tour to the Whitsundays! We go with Big Fury, whose guide, Grant, is such a star. We are taken to a snorkeling area, and Sharon, who is afraid of the ocean, joins us! I am so proud of her.
After that, we go to Whitehaven Beach, where we have an amazing lunch, followed by a trip to a lookout, before playing in the crystal clear water and laying on the white silica sand. This is the most amazing beach I have ever been to!
When we get back to Airlie, we decide to make dinner an easy one, so we buy boxed red wine, crackers and 4 different cheeses. Gotta stay classy on the road, peeps. After a dairy overload, I am drunk on half a glass of red wine, and Sharon ties the ends of my leggings together so well, that no one can undo the knot. So I pull off my leggings halfway, and just sit in my long sweater and underpants, drinking wine until I decide I need to sleep. Again.
We all decide that Airlie Beach could be home for us; it’s small and cozy, but has a lot of opportunities. We can’t stay in one place just yet though, so on to our next destination!
Gladstone, Rockhampton, St. Lawrence and Mackay, Australia: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
Roadtripping isn’t too bad. Of all the places I’ve been, Australia is one of the prettiest. We have sun in our faces and wind in our hair, my feet are up and great music is pumping out through the speakers. We stop in little towns for lunch, and keep driving until the sun goes down. We enjoy the road signs with trivia questions to keep drivers awake. There’s roadkill every few kilometers. Roadtripping really isn’t too bad.
When we stop in Gladstone for the night, I direct us to a camp site through my WikiCamps app. It has great reviews, mainly about the owner being so interesting. Craig and I are driving Princess Rosie, Nick and Sharon are driving the Hippie Camper that Nick rented in Brisbane. Since there’s no place to pull over to run into the office and check in, we just drive up to a spot and park, and check the tires, which have been making strange noises for a while, before heading to reception. An old man on a bike stops us before we even head to the office to ask us what we’re doing, and not in a polite way. After a long talking to, he kicks us out, because apparently he is the owner and we have “no fucking idea how this country works”, as he puts it. We apologise profusely, telling him we did intend to pay, but we just didn’t know where to park. We leave, shaken and upset, but we find another camp site that lets us park two vans in one spot.
At this point, I am kind of miserable. Not only was I just yelled at, I am also having a shit time as soon as I leave the car. Every single time. Truth is, and I am not trying to put anyone on the spot or be mean, but me and our new travel “buddy” don’t get along very well, and I kind of just have to accept that he’s there, every single day, and I have no say in this. Sharon spends all her time in his van, making it slightly more comfortable for everyone because of the lack of room in the vans, but I hardly see her anymore. Since everyone keeps changing their minds about our route, trying to make us stay longer in little towns with nothing to do to “break up the trip”, I will have to endure this even longer than I want to. He is going all the way to Cairns with us. So I sit there, not eating because my mouth hurts (which is a different story), thinking of just getting on the next Greyhound bus and doing the whole East Coast alone from now on. I don’t say a word for hours, and then I go to bed, way earlier than everyone else, as usual.
When we wake up, we have some breakfast and wash the car a bit, and then we’re off again. We stop in Rockhampton for lunch, where I have a salad of all things, and my mouth still hurts too much to enjoy food. Since Mackay is too far away, we stop in St. Lawrence for the night, at a free camp site called St. Lawrence Recreational Reserve, that looks like an abandoned horse ranch. We arrive as the sun is setting, and after enjoying our view, we have dinner and goon, and Craig and I giggly recreate the music video to Sia’s Elastic Heart.
The next morning, I take my first shower in four days. As gorgeous as this place is, we need to head to Mackay, which will be our last stop before Airlie Beach. I intended it to be one day’s trip from Rainbow Beach to Airlie Beach, but obviously I wouldn’t want Craig to wear himself out. Mackay looks like a Californian town in the 1950’s with palm trees and retro signs. We stay in the parking lot at Far Beach, which is a long beach with a park area in front of it. It’s quite perfect, except toilets are half a kilometer away. The group has decided that we will stay for two nights. The first night, we have salmon and steak and salad for dinner with some goon (of course). The next day, I lay out by the beach, reading and finishing a book, and we try to wash our hair under a little water tab. At night, we eat pasta Bolognese and have more goon. We do more weird dancing, and basically look like we’re tripping on acid. Two locals, a guy and a girl, join us, but I don’t pay them much attention, as I am heading to the beach to get some air before going to sleep.
Since Rainbow Beach, I have been sleeping in the front seat. It makes me feel less uncomfortable and claustrophobic for some reason. Sharon sees my feet hanging out of the window early in the morning and walks up to me. She’s really worried, because Nick didn’t come home last night. We eventually find him sitting on a bench with the girl from last night, which pisses Sharon off a bit. We decide to go for a walk and find the toilets, and when we come back, Craig is still asleep and Nick has brought the girl into his van. Sharon and I just sit around on the grass, when a dog jumps out of his owner’s car and approaches us. His owner, Richard from Adelaide, chats us up and makes us coffee. He saw us the night before, thinking that Craig and I were on acid. He is such a star, asking about our trip, the vans, the guys and everything in between. He’s even been to Aarhus and knows some Danish! We end up staying in Mackay, just talking to Richard and his dog for way too long, but eventually, we get back on the road. Rosie is making noises that worry us, but she seems fine. We eventually realize that Nick and Sharon aren’t following us anymore – we have been in front on this whole trip, with me navigating on my phone. Sharon texts me to say that Nick needs to sleep, since he stayed up all night with the girl, otherwise he might crash the van. See what I’m dealing with?
We have some trouble with Rosie every now and then.She needs to change tyres, the motor makes some odd noises that could easily be adjusted by a mechanic (which none of us are), but other than that, she drives smoothly on the A1 led by Craig, while I DJ ang navigate. We stop to see waterfalls and I play a game of taking pictures of all of the signs we pass.
When all has been said and done, roadtripping could be a lot worse.
Rainbow Beach and Fraser Island: I now sleep in a car
As Sharon, Craig and I get in our pink van, Princess Rosie, it is raining a lot. So much in fact, that three people get in a car accident and drown that day. We have our own battles to fight, since the rod for the windshield wipers is coming off, and we desperately need to be able to see where we’re going. We sing Bohemian Rhapsody and King and other fun songs to waste some time, and suddenly, we are in Rainbow Beach. It’s a very small town with no cellphone reception and seemingly nothing to do. Sharon and I buy a pair of fairy wings and run around like hyper toddlers for a bit, before we end up watching Jim Jeffries on my laptop and falling asleep in the van.
The next morning, we wake up really early and Nick from the hostel in Brisbane meets up with us. We’re going on a day tour to Fraser Island, and nearly miss it when the guide leaves without us. He’s the first man I’ve ever met that is on time. We take the ferry to Fraser and drive along the 75 Mile beach, where we see a couple of dingoes.
After some coffee at a resort, we go to Lake McKenzie, which has some of the clearest water I’ve ever seen. It’s as blue as the sky, and as cold as ice, but we jump in and rinse our jewelry and wash our hair in the smooth water, leaving us soft and refreshed.
After that, our guide Dan, who is the most Australian man ever, takes us to Central Station for a walk in the rainforest.
He puts me in charge of navigating the group since I am the loudest. We manage to not get lost, so after that, we get some lunch and then drive back to the beach to get to the shipwreck.
We take some pictures of the ship, and then we get on a tiny airplane to really see the island.
We finish off at Eli Creek, and then it’s time to go back. I’d rather stay on Fraser than go back to Rainbow Beach.
We eat dinner and have some goon and I go to bed early, as I’m not feeling too great.
The next day, Craig and I eat breakfast by the beach and eventually, Sharon and Nick join us. A Swiss woman who’s been living here for 17 years tells us to hike up to see the colored sands, but her directions just take us to a lookout over the beach. I’m not complaining, though. Then, we pack up and start driving again. Off to our next destination!
Brisbane, Australia: Ten days is too much, yet not enough
When we get to YHA Brisbane, we have one very important job to do: go shopping at H&M! We take the train to Indooroopilly shopping center and we find out that H&M in Australia is shit. We buy some essentials anyway, and go back for some quick lunch at the food court. For dinner, we go to Caxton Street and end up at a Thai place, where Sharon finds out that she likes Thai food! We decide that all the bars around us are too intimidating, and we go to sleep.
The following day, we walk around for ages, trying to find a bus that will take us to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. When we finally find one, we wait 45 minutes before it arrives and takes us to our destination. Entrance is $31.50 and taking a picture with a koala is $18 – heaps cheaper than going to Australia Zoo! Our koala, Becks, is the sweetest, not wanting to let go of Sharon, and nuzzling her face against my neck.
We go to the central shop to get our pictures, but mine never arrives. The photographer approaches me after a while, telling me my picture jammed the printer. Great, my face breaks everything!
We go look at wombats, dingoes, Tasmanian devils and various birds before heading to a grassy area to feed kangaroos. We approach some kangaroos lying down, but they’re not very hungry. We eventually find a smaller one who’s being very greedy with the food. Every time we think he’s done eating, he nudges our paper bag full of food. We are in love!
Back at the hostel, we decide to starton Project Blue Hair. I’ve wanted it for a while, and almost gave up on it until I found some blue hairdyes in Surfer’s Paradise. We put two colors in three different cups and mix them with conditioner to water them down a bit. So we sit on the floor in our dorm room, with foil and blue dye everywhere, much to the amusement of our Swiss room mate.
Here’s the result:
The following day, Craig and Andy, who we met in Sydney, join us. Craig wants to buy a van and travel around, and Andy is going to stay and look for a job. We have beers on the roof of our hostel and feel fine until we head back down to our rooms, where we temporarily pass out in the hallway by the toilets.
The next day, we end up meeting up with three Germans who are selling their pink van, decorated with flowers, for $2000. We name her Princess Rosie. As Craig tries to drive it up a steep hill to the parking lot however, it fails to do anything but roll downhill.
Lauren, whom I met in Kuta, Bali, meets us in the Valley at Rics Bar for cheap drinks. She brings her friends Lukas and Ruby. Sharon, the guys and I are really enjoying talking to people who aren’t backpackers for once, and they are such hilarious people.
We find an inflatable parrot on the floor, which I grab and immediately name Perry. I try to deflate him by sitting on him, which looks very inappropriate, of course. Most of the night, I try to imitate a parrot, saying “ARGH! PERRY!”. It’s funnier than it sounds, I promise.
We go to a different bar, which is completely empty at first. As we dance and fill up on gin soda limes, the bar gets busier. Lauren, Lukas and Ruby call it a night, since it’s only Thursday, and the rest of us continue to dance with Perry. By the way, when you bring a prop to a place full of drunk people, you’re going to have to fight for it. As I am standing there, talking to a guy named Jack, a girl actually grabs it out of my hand as she walks by me. As if stealing it right from me is no big deal at all. I am speechless and in my drunken state decide that Sharon needs to get it back for me, which she does. The girl actually claims it’s hers, can you believe it?
After a long night with way too much gin in my bloodstream, I decide that I need a kebab and my bed. Of course that means everyone else has to follow me home, which I am not pleased about. We end up getting a taxi back to YHA, and go to bed around 3.30.
The day after, we’re all pretty beat, but still drunk. We go to breakfast and have beers and ciders, then head to a bottle shop for a few drinks while we go to the pool. The pool is unbelievably cold, and after a game of catch with a rugby we call Russell or Jeremy, I go pass out on a sunbed. Andy drops by with a big case of beer, and they decide to try to throw me in the pool, even though I am wearing all my clothes. As Craig puts me down, I decide “What the Hell?” and jump in, fully clothed. We play Piggie in the Middle, with Sharon and I being the piggies, and we get aggressive. Mind you, we’re also very drunk. The rest of the day is pretty quiet though, as we slowly sober up.
Saturday is Anzac Day, where we remember the fallen Australian and Kiwi soldiers. There is a big parade on the main street, which we go check out.
We have Subway sandwiches on the warm grass on the Anzac Square, listening to speeches broadcasted from Turkey, where the battle took place. For dinner, we decide to be super Australian and have kangaroo steaks, baby potatoes with parsley, and of course, goon.
Craig’s Canadian roommate, Nick, joins in, and it’s all good fun until I yet again am too drunk and need food. Craig and I go for a late night snack at McDonald’s, taking ages to get back with cheeseburgers for the rest of the group, because we sit down to eat our nuggets, while talking to Sharon on the phone, saying we’re on our way.
On Sunday, we go to an AFL game: Brisbane Lions vs. Westcoast Eagles. We go all out, buying souvenirs, beers and snacks, while sitting almost front row, cheering loudly. Apparently, Lions haven’t won a single game this season, but we still root for them and enjoy the game very much. Sharon and I mainly drool over all the Lances on the team.
After the game, everyone rushes out on the field and kick their balls around. Sharon buys one, and all of us tackle each other, go long and so on. We’re covered in grass by the time we leave the stadium. Back at the hostel, Sharon dyes my hair again, and we get our goon out on the rooftop, where we all decide to extend long enough to go out again on Thursday.
The day after, Sharon, Craig and I take everything out of the van, Princess Rosie, and clean her and dress the bed in new sheets, wash all the pots, buy new cups and wash the doona. It takes us most of the day and we’re exhausted by the time we’re finished. We decide to make it easy and just get a pizza for dinner.
Tuesday, we end up having drinks on the roof and start playing Heads Up, when a big group of Canadians join us. It gets loud and kind of out of hand, so when we kicked off the roof by midnight, we go back to bed. When I wake up at 2 AM, Sharon is gone and not answering the phone. I freak out until Craig answers his phone and tells me everyone went out to a bar on Caxton street. I go back to sleep, but when I wake up Sharon still isn’t back. She makes up for it by buying me Skittles. I go for a ride to a store with Craig, and spend most of the day chilling out on a couch. After that, we hang out in the game room, where we attempt to play pool (I end up on the pool table several times). We are bored, so we go for a walk and end up at McDonald’s. Then we go back and watch Gladiator and pass out soon after that.
Thursday’s the big day! I’ve been looking forward to going out again for several reasons. Unfortunately, I wake up bloated and my stomach’s cramping up. I spend all day buying Gatorade and drinking water to rehydrate, drinking peppermint tea and taking pills for bloating, cramping, pains and nausea. I even have a nap that makes me feel so much better for like 5 minutes. Everytime I stand up I feel like vomiting, and my cramps are getting worse. It’s raining heavily, so we have dinner in the kitchen and drink a few beers. I hope the half beer I have will loosen up the knots in my stomach, but it makes things worse, so my mood is pretty shit. It’s Andy’s last night with us, as he has gotten himself both a house and a job, so I say goodbye to him and then head to bed… Where a very drunk English girl in the bed above me smuggles her loud boyfriend in. For the next hour, all I hear is “yum yum, ginger cookies” and “sshhh shut up!”. At 6 in the morning, they get up, still drunk, and try to pack.. loudly. I am furious, but at least my stomach cramps are almost gone.
So, a city we hated at first ended up being a city we now love. Thanks to Craig and Andy failing at fixing the car, we’ve kept extending to the point where we are now YHA members!
